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February 7th, 2008

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05:07 am - this made me laugh for a long time
Subject: Out of the Mouths of Babes

If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.   

Q: Name the four seasons.   
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.   

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.   
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.   

Q: How is dew formed?   
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.   

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?   
A: Keep it in the cow.   

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?   
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.  All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins in this fight.   

Q: What are steroids?   
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.   

Q: What happens to your body as you age?   
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get inter-continental.   

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?   
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.   

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.   
A: Premature death.   

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)   
A: The body is consisted into three parts--the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.  The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.   

Q: What is the fibula?   
A: A small lie.   

Q: What does "varicose" mean?   
A: Nearby.   

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"   
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome   

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'   
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.   

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